Things I've Learned

I was thinking about my job as a parent so far, and it occurred to me that there are quite a few little things you pick up along the way. It's the sort of first-hand knowledge that is difficult to put in a book, or that might be too specific to your situation to really apply well across the board to all parents and children.

Call it parental evolution, child adaptation, whatever. Here's some stuff I've found out (not in any particular order).

1. When kids learn to talk, they move quickly from "mama" and "dada" to "I want." It's so cute at first, and then it becomes a demand. "I want juice" became a constant bell ringing during Caleb's waking hours for a few weeks there. I think the trick is to make sure that you don't give in to the "wants" but rather give them the things they want when they're NOT asking for them. That way they seem to start understanding that they don't get what they ask for, and they stop begging constantly. I'm sure this rule goes out the window as soon as he learns to open the fridge and pour some juice.
2. Speaking of food...we came up with a cool trick for snacks/desserts. There's a cereal called "Cookie Crisp" which has been around for decades. If anything can epitomize the sugary-kid-cereal selections, this might be it. However, a close look at the nutritional facts will show that there's not really that much sugar, and there are TONS of other vitamins and minerals in there. Compared to actual cookies, well...there IS no comparison. But you know what? Caleb thinks he's eating cookies (they do taste like cookies). So we give him a handful of those, he thinks he's eating this fabulous dessert and all the while he's eating something that's actually really good for him (especially compared to any candy or cookie).
3. Your kid grows as only your kid can do. That is, everything develops in time, according to your own child's timeline. Crawling and walking came VERY slowly for Caleb, and it became frustrating toward the end (he only started standing and walking around 15 1/2 months). Lots of kids hit that milestone at least 3 months earlier. Of course, Caleb had a FULL mouth of teeth (all of them) before his 1st birthday, and some kids don't get to that point until 18 months or so. And Caleb's hair doesn't grow very much, whereas many kids his age have already had 1, 2 or 3 haircuts by now. Caleb's vocabulary (spoken and sign language) is pretty well developed, and some kids at this point don't have but a couple of words or phrases. Point being, they're all different, and trying to compare one kid to another at this age is pretty pointless.
4. A mom who works full time can still be a good mom. There's obviously the standard (working dad, stay-at-home mom) and that's probably the ideal. We've sort of flipped it on it's head (work-at-home dad, working mom). It's no secret that some people have nothing good to say about our setup. People have their opinions, and you can't change that. However, there's more than one way to live life, and I'd like to think that we have a perhaps greater challenge than most. Our goal is simply to meet our higher challenge, and not worry if we do it exactly the way someone else says is "best." I'd say that the best part of our situation is that both parents are working, yet Caleb doesn't have to go to a daycare. In that regard, I think we are very fortunate, and Caleb will benefit from having a father that is more involved in his day-to-day life than a lot of fathers can be with their children.
5. Stuff is gonna get messy and dirty. We try to keep a clean house, but Caleb is always dragging out a toy in the hall, or pulling papers off a table and generally making a mess. And that's when he's not eating a meal. Rather than keeping things clean 24/7, I think it's more realistic to expect a certain amount of mess and make a commitment to cleaning on a regular basis. When it was just the 2 of us here, it was easy to just put things back where they go. If we tried that right now with Caleb, it would last about 10 seconds. Exhausting. Now that he's been playing in the yard, it's also becoming apparent that muddy shoes tracking through the house will be just around the corner. At least the boy is having fun!

That'll do it for now. I'm sure I'll think of other stuff.